Domestic Violence

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is the use of violence, threats, intimidation and manipulation tactics or force to gain power and control over others causing fear. The overwhelming majority of those who experience domestic violence are women and children. The abuse is often systematic and increases in frequency and severity over time. All abuse is damaging including psychological and emotional abuse. Abuse is never ok. We all have the right to feel safe all of the time.

Domestic violence cuts across socio-economic, educational and cultural aspects and family structures. Domestic violence occurs in:

  • Current and past heterosexual and same sex relationships,
  • Between family members including children and live-in carers.

The Family Law Act 1975 (Section 4AB) defines the meaning of family violence, the elements defining the violence and includes the type of child exposures considered as a form of family violence against the child. http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html

How to recognise domestic violence?

Couples and families will invariably have disagreements and ‘fights’ but when this becomes abusive then it is called domestic violence. The indicators and warning signs of domestic violence can vary in every situation but some common indicators are described below. It is Domestic Violence when a person:

  • Tells you it’s your fault they are abusive.
  • Constantly phones you, wants to know where you are, stalks you.
  • At the start of the relationship wants shared living/marriage.
  • Makes leaving the house difficult.
  • Makes friends/family feel uncomfortable.
  • Controls the money.
  • Makes you feel worthless, stupid, crazy.
  • Threatens to hit you or hurt the children.
  • Tells you no one will believe you.
  • Has physically hurt you or your pets.
  • Forces you to have sexual.
  • Threatens to suicide if you leave.

Domestic Violence can make you feel:

  • You can’t do anything right.
  • Afraid for yourself or the children.
  • That you are emotionally unraveled.
  • That you are helpless and feel numb.
  • That you can’t get away from the abuse.

If you have experienced any of these and would like support go to help@allambee.org.au or call Allambee Counselling
on (08) 9535 8263.

If you need emergency accommodation, call Crisis Care on 1800 199 008. Women’s Refuge (Pat Thomas House Mandurah)
(08) 9535 4775.

If you are in crisis right now, call the Police immediately on 000

Domestic violence affects children

Domestic violence can have a profound negative effect on children whether they are the target of abuse or witness or hear the abuse or experience the aftermath of the abuse to another family member.

Help to keep your child Safe:

  • Tell them to move away when fights start
  • Go to a neighbour or stay in their room
  • To have 5 adults they can go to for help (neighbour, teacher, friend of um)
  • How to call the police on 000 and their address
  • Kids Helpline 1800 551 800
Tell children that adults and police will believe them when they ask for help.

How can you support your child?

  • Tell your child it is not their fault
  • Reassure the child that it’s ok to tell and it’s the right thing to tell
  • Reassure the child you will do what’s possible to keep them safe
  • Let them know you love them
  • Give them the space to talk and validate their feelings as normal
  • Keep routines
  • Provide them with appropriate choice in everyday life as they are often powerless
  • Use words they can understand regarding legal or court actions
  • Remain as calm as possible when talking to your child
  • Remain calm when your child displays difficult behaviours.

Getting help

If you are in crisis right now, call the Police immediately on 000

Key services:

Contact us – Allambee on 9535 8263 for support, information, counselling
Crisis Care: (08) 9223 1111 / 1800 199 008 (free call)
Women’s DV Helpline: (08) 9223 1188 / 1800 007 339 (free call)
Kid’s Help Line: 1800 551 800
Men’s DV Helpline: (08) 9223 1199 / 1800 000 599